Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize