Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
