Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
if you like me you must not know who I am
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
