Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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