nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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