an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
