Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
