the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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