mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
