Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He felt like a one man threesome
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
