No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just want to make out with him forever
Randomize
