sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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