this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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