Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
