i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize