she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
