You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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