i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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