I got chris browned last night
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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