umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
