People with herpes should wear stickers.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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