My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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