Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
