Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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