Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
