Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
