i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
