He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
