we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
