GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
