is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
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Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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