I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
