being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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