pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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