God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
