once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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