No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i need some magic done to my vagina
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
