FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
