I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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