There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
