I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
