You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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