Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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