Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
