Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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