she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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