She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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