Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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