So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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