She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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