I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
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you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
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Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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