After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
