Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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