scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
and you fell through a lawn chair
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
