your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
