Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
