So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
