woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
BRING THE BAGELS
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